ＨＯＷ ＣＡＮ Ａ ＨＥＡＶＹ ＨＥＡＲＴ ＢＥ ＳＯ ＥＭＰＴＹ？

[ambitious]

  ＢＯＲＲＯＷＩＮＧ Ａ ＢＲＯＫＥＮ ＬＯＶＥ．

✘ select a muse
✘ leave a prompt ( threadstarter/picture(s)/lyrics, etc )
✘ profit!

Comments

[adronitis]

Not the thought of you not realizing I was even human, but you sleeping on a mythical water-dwelling monster. I'm very glad you falling asleep on me turned out so well for us both, the opposite doesn't bear thinking about.

Who knows what'll be possible with technology in the near future. You may yet get your wish.

It's nothing, really. I just keep forgetting that I don't look Mexican, which invites conspiratorial comments about Mexicans from people who think I'm as white as they are.

[victimized]

as fantastic as that sounds, i think i might have outgrown my dream of one day being ariel. besides, i'm just not sure i can rock a tail.

so basically, someone was being a disgusting asshole. [ long story very, very short? ]

what happened?

[adronitis]

I'm pretty fond of your legs the way they are, if I'm honest.

Yeah, basically.

Honestly, it's hardly worth mentioning. Just another asshole in a Home Depot parking lot.

[victimized]

i've noticed that. don't think i can't tell when you're staring. 😉

ugh. let me guess. old. white. male. ?? people suck.

not all, you're pretty great, but most.

[adronitis]

I'd be more impressed by your sleuthing if I ever tried to be subtle.

Never mind, I take it back. You're a genius.

Thanks babe. I got him back by using my heaviest, most stereotypical accent and broken Spanglish. Boy was he uncomfortable.

[victimized]

i mean, i wasn't exactly aiming for sherlock holmes level, but i appreciate the slightly delayed acknowledgment.

how long did he stand there squirming before finding an excuse to leave?

[adronitis]

😘

Like barely 30 seconds. It was pathetic.
I made a point to go talk to the day laborers that prompted his tirade. I may or may not be getting help dealing with all the fucking leaves the goddamn trees drop this weekend.

[victimized]

😘😘😘

guys like that always are.
but look at you. taking down racist assholes and making friends almost at the same time. i'm so proud.

[adronitis]

In my experience, yes.
What can I say, I'm a great multi-tasker. It's almost too bad you weren't with me, that would have probably upset him even more.

[victimized]

we probably could have made his head explode.
remind me, i'll totally come with you next time.

[adronitis]

I can't believe the potential to make racists uncomfortable is all I need to convince you to come to the hardware store with me.
I knew I liked you for a reason. ❤️

[victimized]

i'm not saying i'm going to enjoy the entire trip, but that possibility of calling some dick out is totally worth it.
here i thought you were just into me because of my great ass.

[adronitis]

Nobody enjoys an entire trip to Home Depot.
Plus you'd get the pleasure of my company, right?

Your ass is amazing, there's no denying that. But it's only one of the reasons I'm into you.

[victimized]

i do like spending time with you
so it that involves shopping in one of the most boring stores on earth
i suppose i can make do.

i'd ask for the list but i'm guessing it hasn't changed much since the last time.

[adronitis]

You're a saint, sweetheart.

I am always adding to it, but the main points are the same.

[victimized]

i don't want to flat out deny the title
but believe it or not, it doesn't take much to want to hang out with you.
like i said before. you're pretty great.
and not exactly hard to look at 😜

[adronitis]

I'll get a devotional candle made for you, how's that?
Is that so? I guess that explains why you're always hanging around my house.
Well, that and the fact that you live there.

Stop it, you'll make me blush.

[victimized]

does that mean you're going to worship me?
because i'm not going to complain about that.

to be fair, the house is way more comfortable than my shitty dorm was.
but i like you. falling asleep with you. waking up with you.
everything in between.

you're so cute when you blush, though.

[adronitis]

Every night.

Why do you even still keep your dorm room? Aren't you paying for that?
Next semester you should just give up paying for on-campus housing, you're hardly ever there. Move in with me officially.
I like that too. The house feels very lonely when you're not around.

Not as cute as you.

[victimized]

and you say i'm the saint.

i'd like to pay something about about being a strong, independent woman but really it's just because i paid for the semester up front.
i like the sound of official, though. if you're sure.
not going to freak out when you lose the opportunity to tell me to go home if you want to, are you?

close, though.

[adronitis]

I'm pretty sure no one has ever been sainted for anything nearly as enjoyable as worshiping you.

Why tf would I tell you to go home? You'd already be home.
It's not like you'd be chained up in the house all day. You'd still have class to go to and your friends to hang out with, you'd just be coming back to me when you're done.
I like having you around.

Idk about that...

[victimized]

you're right. it's usually the exact opposite of enjoyable.
but you're a special case.

and i like being around.
so alright then. it's officially official.
your home is my home.

[adronitis]

Maybe I'll get a devotional candle for myself, too, then we'll match.

I'd get a key cut for you to mark the occasion but you've had one for months.

[victimized]

cute, if a little weird.
probably best to keep those in the bedroom.
people might think we've lost it.

[ not that she actually cares, but... ]

you could always just come home and kiss me.
unless you're still hanging out at the hardware store.

[adronitis]

We are weird.
You don't think we should display our matching heretical religious iconography out in the open where any of your friends can see them?
Brooke. You don't let me have any fun.

I needed to get some stuff. I want to build a pergola for the backyard.